Ah, where do I begin? If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to stay in a place that kind of resembles the listing photos—if you squint, tilt your head, and imagine a different house entirely—then boy, are you in for a treat!Let’s talk ambiance. The creaking floors really add character—especially when you’re trying to tiptoe to the bathroom at 2 a.m. and end up sounding like you’re being hunted by ghosts. Very immersive. And don’t worry about sneaking in late; the entire house will know.The chairs? Well, they do their best. One tried to launch me into a new dimension. It’s impressive, really, how they hold together just enough to lull you into a false sense of security before surrendering to gravity.And yes, the tub still drains slowly, just as past reviewers lovingly warned. You’ll have time for a full existential crisis while waiting for your bathwater to disappear. Pair that with a shower faucet that’s off-center—as if it were installed by someone with a deep resentment toward symmetry—and you’ve got yourself a spa experience like no other.But hey, it is in a nice area. You can almost forget the minor inconveniences while looking out at the beautiful neighborhood and thinking, “I wonder what it’s like to stay in one of those houses.”To be fair, the place has potential. Unfortunately, it’s currently stuck somewhere between “charming fixer-upper” and “museum of missed opportunities.” A few upgrades—and by a few I mean many—could really bring it into this decade.
